To my future babe

So, lists are a thing now. And I couldn’t be happier. As a lazy ass, I approve lists as they are just more efficient and convenient to read. They are practical and to the point, just like me.

So without further ado, here’s a list of things I’m expecting in my future boyfriend:

  1. You exist. You may laugh but there have been numerous times where I made up an imaginary boyfriend, who is named Sid for some reason.
  2. You better say I look like Beyoncé even when I look like Kesha.
  3. Give me hugs even if I try to squirm away. I tend to do that to give off an I-don’t-give-a-fuck attitude but in reality, I love hugs, specifically those that last longer than 5 seconds.
  4. Force me to try new things, especially if they mean a lot to you.
  5. Be willing to try things that mean a lot to me too.
  6. If I’m ever feeling down, call (don’t text) or surprise me at the door. I promise I will do the same.
  7. Introduce me to your friends and we should definitely hang out with them often.
  8. Of course, if you ever need guy time with your buddies, that’s perfectly fine too.
  9. Spontaneous kisses please.
  10. I don’t do small talk so every conversation we have will either be completely pointless or very deep but never mundane.
  11. I may look small but I eat like a pig so be prepared for that. Under right conditions, I will finish a whole pizza by myself and still have space for dessert later.
  12. My taste in music is weird as shit and you better like it or at least don’t complain about it.
  13. Not saying you should be a bad singer but if you are above average, I’ll never be secure enough to try to sing like The Weeknd. So try to sing horribly in front of me so I can sing along with you.
  14. At one point or another, I will be vulnerable enough to reveal all my secrets. Please don’t leave me.
  15. We will try to do the salsa or tango or any one of those sexy partner dances at some point and you will give your best effort, no matter how stupid we look.
  16. Whether it is getting wasted and having a dance party on the streets or staying in with Netflix and eating pizza, you should be perfectly happy.
  17. Tell me everything about yourself, leaving no skeletons in closet.
  18. Tell me your baby stories, your career goals (realistic and unrealistic), your future plans, and you’re damn right I want to know about your past relationships.
  19. No matter what, please be completely honest with me. I look fat in that dress? Tell me. You don’t see a future with me? Let me know.
  20. Hopefully, you would be my first love and eventually my husband. I’m only in it for the long haul. I don’t want to waste time on someone who won’t be with me for majority of my life.
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